Needed time....

Its been a while, more than a week. I'm not even where I'm suppose to be, I'm just dragging along. I'm not in the most comfortable of situations, but I'm not eager to leave. But then, it's only because nobody wants me to leave. I don't know whether I should be here, since I'm only taking up space and time at the moment. I'm in a state of now, I'm to aware of my surroundings, including the cards streaking past my head. Its pink, and represents the common attitude in the room.... Boredom...


This entire week, and the one before has been filled with that attitude. This post is probably the most thinking I've done since the end of school on the Friday before last. Its even more thinking than the exams I had last week, which I can't decide whether or not I'm happy with the level of effort I put in.

The entire week was just and excuse to kill time, from going to the mall and being asked by some random Chinese guy for a cigarette on the bus (I mean, common, how old do me and Echoes look) to me getting stuck with buying a suit for a wedding yesterday. I'm not saying the wedding was bad, it actually turned out well since I spent the entire day with close family, but the tensions were a bit unusual since the weddings that will follow aren't making the siblings involved happy. Its all a question of the time, the breaking up and moving on of lives, and the old ritual of arranged marriage which they're trying to fight but can't since they can't find a substitute. Its really awkward the position is set upon since the younger members of the family including me don't ever want to see ourselves in the position of the older members. Not exactly a good way to leave a special day.

That was the mind set around twenty hours ago, a mind set that's changed now that I'm stuck here not exactly doing anything to help with the attitude that going on the in the room, as we all sit waiting for U.U. We're going to leave to watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith at Fairview, a plan which I was said to be a part of about two hours ago.

My summer hasn't started the way I wanted to, since I never got what I wanted done started. I think I posted a list of things I wanted to do, but I don't know when I made it so I don't know where that list is. I'm pretty sure that nothings been started, let alone finished.

So that pretty much ends what's going through my head right now, most of which I'm spilling into this. I can't spill everything since its something between me and only one other member of this Blog, so I'll wait till I can think up another way to think out the situation. So now I'm stuck here in a place that I don't necessarily belong, staring at the stars in front of me trying to decide whether they're really worth reaching. Then again, they're just glow in the dark plastic pieces that need to be rearranged on the ceiling above me, a project for a later date.

"Is it worth waiting for better to come along, or should I just make the best of what I have now...."